i started the week with a smile and it looks like i will end it with a frown! i cant help but feel bad about what has happened this week it’s like a whirlwind of surprises and emotions! and i dont like the feeling i cant even sing along with the music i am listening right now! (it’s my favourite).
before monday entered i know that eveything will be just as fine and hoped that everything will be alright. plus the fact that i saw sarah before monday came. i saw sarah at her malltour at sm southmall las pinas! yes you read it right!from caloocan to las pinas! it’s a bit crazy and it only goes to show how addict i am! anyways she was there to promote her latest album entitled taking flight! and yes i bought myself one, eventhough i’m having a hard time managing my money matter problems i just cant help it! i just found myself saying “kasya pa naman gang tuesday, taz sahod na nun!” so there i am with my fellow addict!hehe (but not as much as i am, i guess) the show started around 5pm. first is her front act miki she sang, i think 4 songs. then a little bit of contest sponsored by jolibee then there she is with that sweet smile and that kembot kikay thing she sang 3 of her songs one of which, is included from her 3rd album becoming and the other two is from her latest album taking flight, namely i’ll be alright and ikaw. in between this songs she would do some spiels like “pwede pahingi ng tubig?” “alam nyo po ba laman nito?, secret!!! (giggles)” “nakita nyo po ba yung album cover may paganun ganun (tries to do the post she did in the inlay of her album) parang heroes anu po?” (heroes is an int’l tv series, just so you know).
while singing she would occasionally wave to the audience and guess, how many times did she looked my way, waved at me and say hi? …………. 3x!!!! isn’t it amazing? i guess for you it’s just a wave, but for me it’s more than that, it only means that one moment in her life i existed in her world! you may think that im crazy! you know what i just dont care for me it’s one of those moments that i have felt real happiness, happiness that i could hardly find nowadays!
and then it’s signing up time! believe me malltours never fails to disappoint me! as expected people just cant be controlled, they want to do what they feel was right even if it’s not! the guards said “please pumila po tayo ng maayos di aalis si sarah hangga’t di napipiramahan ng cd nyo! wag po tayong magtulukan” but they just dont care about the guards! so i’ll leave it to you, on how you imagined my situation, all i can say is it’s hard to be a fan! then i came close to her at last (once again) but before it’s my friend first she asked me to get her a picture with sarah in her camera phone and digital camera, and so i did, the laughing part is that i got a little shaky, actually not a little, i really got shaky, i dont know why but everytime i come close to sarah my heart always skip a beat!!! to think that i’ve seen her for 9x. luckily the picture didn’t get distorted, then it was my turn i also got the chance to take a picture with her but i didn’t come so near i’m a bit ashamed of myself! hehe sweat already sticked to my skin, god my face have released oil severely! so you know it’s one of the things i dont like whenever i come close to her i feel those insecurities sometimes and just like what i have said earlier it’s hard to be a fan! and then i have accompany my other friends namely the pexsters so i did make pila ulit!hehe so all in all i get to have a chance to meet her in the stage twice!this time i waved and greeted her a happy birthday and said thank you plus a wave of goodbye!it really really made my day!so much!!just a sweet smile from her the long road from caloocan to las pinas and vice versa, the falling in line, when you really dont know where the line ends and starts was all worth it! the autographed signed cd for me is just a bonus and take note for a changed she included thank you, from my other cds it’s always sarah only thats why when i woke up monday morning it felt really good i woke up early than usual without feeling that im a bit lacked of sleep!
monday up to wednesday i was feeling great!then theres this thing that made that happy feeling of mine disappear into thin air!i dont know i just felt really sad and bad. then just in time a bad news came in my way. actually i already knew this news about sarah and the executive producer of her new soap opera incident, same day of the said malltour. but i didnt mind it for days for the reasons that maybe it isn’t true or if it is the reporter used words that made the story a little bit of exxagerated besides i am not over of what have happened last sunday!…but then the next big news flash before my very eyes!the issue was for real, it really happened, the EP really yelled at sarah and her mother, putting them together in a shameful event!in the very important day of sarah, her birthday!that EP was a lunatic! (forgive the word i just really hate him), so up until now i really really feel bad i dont know why, maybe sarah just smiled at this issue but i just cant!, im not sarah! im a fan, that gets to sensitive whenever things like this happen to her idol!
maybe im just too hooked to feel this way! i should not bother myself thinking about this issue nor should i feel bad about it’s because im not the person in that situation, im not, in anyway connected to sarah (except that i am a supporter) and for heaven’s sake the girl doesn’t even know my freaking name!!!! so it really makes me wonder why i care so much! in the forum i frequently visits i have post words or statements that might have offended or made my co-forumers worry about me, showed their concerns and i really appreciate it. (to you guys!thank you…specially to those who texted me! thank you).
this thing really makes me feel bad i cant do things right. i worry a lot and i really dont understand what really triggers me to feel this feeling is it really about the news, or what i have done, the online leaks of the songs of sarah and how i asked a poster to give me the links so i could check on it but have no intentions of downloading it but i still feel guilty because of what have had post in the site satating of, how annoying the people who requested for the links and shouldn’t be called as a popsters (the official fans club of sarah) i feel guity! thinking that it might be me she’s addressing to, i regret the day i have sent that guy a message! or it could be that i will have a colds sooner my throat hurts and my body just want to feel the bed and sleep or it could be everything!……and again it’s hard to be a fan……..but it’s really fun to be a fan!
friday! i used to love friday but i guess this friday is not included!this blog is way too long so i guess people who want to read this will stop reading at the middle or just wont bother reading it at all which is good coz i dont want them to laugh at my sentiments or tease me at it! or whatever! and i came this long coz i cant post to the forums i frequently visits, i dont even have the strenght to logged myself in! i really really feel sorry for myself…..im so madrama na so i have to stop typing right now.
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imported from my friendster blog so this was originally posted last august 02, 2007